Dear Diary

OH so you want to go back to the old you????

     You are ready to get back to your old ways right? Woman of God but going through life? Ready to get back to being comfortable and back to F this right? You are ready to just get back to the life that you once knew. Loving God but also doing what you wanted to do and not being obedient to his word. You trust God you do, but you’ve been broken, hurt, not walking your path and questioning your purpose?

Ready to go back to the woman you used to be. The one that didn’t have feelings, the one who used to get their lick back (Romans 12:17-21) and the one who didn’t have emotions. You’re ready to be a born again savage right?

At what point in your life would you stop allowing your past, present and future take you back to the person you’ve grown from? Serving christ, loving yourself and taking care of yourself. Reaching goals and creating great memories in your life. Some way and some how, here you are being tested! Here comes situations that make you want to revert backwards. Here comes life stabbing you in the chest and ready to give up being grounded and obedient. At what point will life stop kicking your ass? Yes, we are strong, but who wants to keep being strong? Who wants to keep dealing with things that aren’t helping them grow or elevate in life. Who wants to struggle? Here you are conflicted right?

Trust God they say. Present your requests to God. No weapon formed against you will prosper. Have faith. Pray about it. We hear all these things right? You know that you’re on the right path and that you are serving God and being obedient, but that flesh! That flesh is wanting to worry, wanting to go back to comfort and ready to be the person they used to be because that person got through it. That person had a shield and was guarded. That person was all you knew. Now, you’re facing obstacles, dealing with deceiving people, life is trying to break you down in ways you didn’t even know could happen. Life isn’t going the way you thought or wanted.

Giving up that control and becoming obedient is not easy. Healing is not easy. Who said walking with Christ would be easy though? Changing bad habits are hard. Changing any habits or routines that are of flesh and not God is hard. Saying no to things you want to say yes to or used to say yes to is hard! It’s like your spirit becomes convicted. You really start to get in your word, spend time in prayer or just having devotion and spending time with God. This walk, you will be tested, you will feel defeated and you will want to turn back. When Christ has an anointment over your life, Phew, God will continue to pull you right back onto your path. No matter how many times you veer off.

It’s easy to go back to your old ways and habits. It’s easy to go back to controlling the outcome of your life and living the way you want to live. The real challenge is surrendering. The real challenge is being obedient in your walk and journey. The confliction is, yes you are comfortable in who you used to be, but were you happy with the outcomes? Were you waking up everyday happy or having joy with life and the choices you were making? Or should you keep being obedient? Serving your purpose or path will not always look like stars and rainbows. You won’t always be happy because im sure God is having you do things you dont want to do. However, that outcome is everything. Its not for your understanding. God will reveal and Guide.

Therefore, even on those hard days, testing days, crying days, lonely days and maybe financial struggling days, just know the path you are on is worth it. That confliction you are having is just a test. You will get through that as long as you keep choosing God. That confliction is not worth going back to who you used to be. No matter how hard life gets, serving your purpose and path is so much more rewarding. You deserve to keep trying and to keep going. Life wasn’t meant to be easy but it was meant to have God walking along side of you in this battle. Don’t you dare allow someone to take you back to the person you used to be. You grew, evolved and elevated in life because you decided to make that change. What God has for you will be for you in HIS TIME.  Keep fighting, surrendering and being obedient. God sees and hears you! Your time is coming.

Now Go open that word, pray and get that spirit together!